The first dance is a
traditional part of many weddings – to the point that it was even specifically allowed
for in the Covid-19 regulations, but it is sometimes approached with
trepidation, sometimes with extensive choreography and sometimes woefully
underplayed by DJs and wedding bands.
The first dance is the opening for the evening party, a chance perhaps
for the evening only guests to fully appreciate the wedding dress, and a chance
for the happy couple to spend a few moments together alone – even though they
are in the spotlight! It also marks the end
of the formalities of the day, with just the dancing, drinking and perhaps the evening
buffet to come!
The Dance
Whilst some people will seek
dance lessons and learn a choregraphed dance, it is perfectly acceptable to
simply hold each other in a classic slow dance!
Trying to remember dance steps – especially if you are not an
accomplished dancer – can be just one more stresser on a day that should be as
relaxed as possible. There was a trend
for a while of “novelty” dance routines, with a sudden change in music, bad
acting from the DJ and a surprise routine.
If that’s what suits your wedding – then go for it! But bear in mind a trend is by definition
something that has been done many times before!
The Song
Traditionally the first
dance was the song that the couple first got together to – but as the way
people meet has changed vastly since I first started DJing weddings, so now it
may be just a favourite song, a meaningful song – or anything that you choose,
and you can choose anything! Check the
lyrics for anything that might not be appropriate - the very famous song with the
line “We’ve been down this road before” may not be ideal for a second wedding! Some songs in the past were very regularly
used for a first dance, but in more recent times John Legend’s “All Of Me” is a
near perfect first dance!
The Guests
The first dance should be as
much of an event within the wedding as any other part of it – so it should have
a big build up, a proper introduction and once the dance is underway the other guests
should be invited to join in. I always
prearrange a signal with the happy couple, as many couples don’t actually want
to be in the spotlight for too long! I
will invite the wedding party first – Bridesmaids best man etc – followed by
family, married couples, non-married couples and then “everyone else”. This builds up a full dancefloor of family
and friends celebrating with you and encourages participation!
The Second Dance
Oh yes, I will always play a
second, and possibly third slow dance.
Foe some guests (often the older guests) this will be their main visit
to the dance floor, so lets keep it going.
There will also be other people who would love to shar that special
dance with you – close friend, godparents, Uncle/Aunt and of course your
parents, which leads us nicely on to
The Father - Daughter Dance
Father-daughter and in the background,
another father-daughter!
More of a US tradition, but becoming increasingly popular in the UK, the father-daughter dance would usually be just after the first dance but can be at any point in the first half of the evening. Some may think it a throwback to old traditions of the Father’s role, but then, much of a wedding day is tradition! Just like the first dance, it is an opportunity to invite others to join in – especially anyone who is there with their own daughter or children (even if the children are grown up!). There is a whole list of suitable songs although my own favourite is “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle. An alternative choice might be a song from childhood, something meaningful to Bride and Father - I can’t wait until someone requests “Morningtown Ride” (A Junior Request favourite!)
The first dance. It’s a special moment – but don’t fret about
it! Enjoy the moment in the spotlight,
but at the same time the intimacy of 3minutes 30 seconds of just the two of you!
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