The End Is (Almost) In Sight

 

There’s a lot of excitement around the latest announcements about the road out of lockdown and COVID-19 restrictions, but what does this really mean for weddings?

Now, I don’t want to sound at all negative, but I do want to make sure we keep a firm grasp here!

The big date is 21 June, when all restrictions are lifted, but the frankly massive caveat is that this is a “not before” date, and depends on all milestones being hit.

Everyone has put this date into their diaries as the day that we can all go and party again – and I hope we all can!  But please, no matter how long you have waited for your special day, don’t feel pressured to accelerate your wedding plans to have it at the earliest possible date!  One thing that lockdown has shown us is that small intimate weddings are a great way to celebrate a marriage.  You can have a marriage without a big party!

Why not have a small, intimate wedding day, and follow it up with a big party at a later date?  Although June 21 is the BIG date the “roadmap” actually allows for smaller ceremonies at an earlier date – Step 2, (not before) 12 April allows for weddings of 15 people, step 3 (not before) 17 May allows for weddings with 30 people, so if you want to bring forward your marriage but not the big party, you can get married as early as April or May.

 

Many wedding days have a “daytime” guest list and an “evening” guest list – so why not split that across two days?  I know it has been a long wait for many, and I certainly understand the frustration you must be feeling, but with a whole year of weddings to catch up on dates and suppliers will be in high demand.  Do you want to compromise?

 

But Won’t two Wedding Days mean Twice the cost?

The short answer is no.  The longer answer is also no!  Almost half of all couples who did get married in 2020 saw their wedding costs reduce.  By having a small wedding day with a reduced guest list you are able to save on catering costs, save on entertainment costs, transport costs and quite possibly on venue costs.

 

It’s not a crazy idea!  82% of couples who married with a guest list of 15 are planning a second celebration, while 63% of those with up to 30 guests are also intending to do so (figures from Bridebook’s UK wedding survey)

 

The dress, the suits – you get to wear twice!  No need to have an all-day photographer at the second event, and the catering can be less formal – and it’s something that you can have some real fun with!  How about street food, a pop up bar…  The possibilities when you have a second day are endless, and without the stress that can come with a full on wedding day – especially if you are trying to arrange it in a hurry!

 

Ok, so here comes the sales pitch!  As a Wedding Butler and DJ with years and year of experience I can handle both days for you, adding a touch of glamour and style to the actual wedding day and making sure the party day goes exactly to plan.

 

And yes, if I do both days for you I will of course do you a great deal!

The First (and second) Dance

 

The first dance is a traditional part of many weddings – to the point that it was even specifically allowed for in the Covid-19 regulations, but it is sometimes approached with trepidation, sometimes with extensive choreography and sometimes woefully underplayed by DJs and wedding bands.  The first dance is the opening for the evening party, a chance perhaps for the evening only guests to fully appreciate the wedding dress, and a chance for the happy couple to spend a few moments together alone – even though they are in the spotlight!  It also marks the end of the formalities of the day, with just the dancing, drinking and perhaps the evening buffet to come!

The Dance

Whilst some people will seek dance lessons and learn a choregraphed dance, it is perfectly acceptable to simply hold each other in a classic slow dance!  Trying to remember dance steps – especially if you are not an accomplished dancer – can be just one more stresser on a day that should be as relaxed as possible.  There was a trend for a while of “novelty” dance routines, with a sudden change in music, bad acting from the DJ and a surprise routine.  If that’s what suits your wedding – then go for it!  But bear in mind a trend is by definition something that has been done many times before!

The Song

Traditionally the first dance was the song that the couple first got together to – but as the way people meet has changed vastly since I first started DJing weddings, so now it may be just a favourite song, a meaningful song – or anything that you choose, and you can choose anything!  Check the lyrics for anything that might not be appropriate - the very famous song with the line “We’ve been down this road before” may not be ideal for a second wedding!  Some songs in the past were very regularly used for a first dance, but in more recent times John Legend’s “All Of Me” is a near perfect first dance!

The Guests

The first dance should be as much of an event within the wedding as any other part of it – so it should have a big build up, a proper introduction and once the dance is underway the other guests should be invited to join in.  I always prearrange a signal with the happy couple, as many couples don’t actually want to be in the spotlight for too long!  I will invite the wedding party first – Bridesmaids best man etc – followed by family, married couples, non-married couples and then “everyone else”.  This builds up a full dancefloor of family and friends celebrating with you and encourages participation!

The Second Dance

Oh yes, I will always play a second, and possibly third slow dance.  Foe some guests (often the older guests) this will be their main visit to the dance floor, so lets keep it going.  There will also be other people who would love to shar that special dance with you – close friend, godparents, Uncle/Aunt and of course your parents, which leads us nicely on to

The Father - Daughter Dance

Father-daughter and in the background,
another father-daughter!

More of a US tradition, but becoming increasingly popular in the UK, the father-daughter dance would usually be just after the first dance but can be at any point in the first half of the evening.  Some may think it a throwback to old traditions of the Father’s role, but then, much of a wedding day is tradition!  Just like the first dance, it is an opportunity to invite others to join in – especially anyone who is there with their own daughter or children (even if the children are grown up!).  There is a whole list of suitable songs although my own favourite is “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle.  An alternative choice might be a song from childhood, something meaningful to Bride and Father -  I can’t wait until someone requests “Morningtown Ride” (A Junior Request favourite!)

 

The first dance.  It’s a special moment – but don’t fret about it!  Enjoy the moment in the spotlight, but at the same time the intimacy of 3minutes 30 seconds of just the two of you!

Songs featured in the article:

John Legend - All Of Me

Bob Carlisle - Butterfly Kisses

The Seekers - Morningtown Ride

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Mini weddings – the next (current) trend?

 

2020 was the year when weddings had to change – but could it also be the year that changed weddings?  Writing this just after Christmas it feels weird to think back to early 2020 when putting off weddings seemed almost pre-emptive, and we were sure that we would just be delaying by a few months.  Fast forward 9 months and we are seeing a new style of weddings - dictated by Government guidelines.  From weddings with 27 guests down to weddings with just 15 couples, guests and suppliers have had to adapt.  Some have postponed, some have gone ahead, some people have eloped!

Whilst I have not DJ’d a wedding now in around a year, through my work as a butler I have seen weddings that have gone ahead, and of course had many conversations with brides and grooms who have booked their weddings with me.  I have seen mini weddings, I have had postponements, one elopement and sadly one outright cancellation.

So what is the future?

Firstly, I predict that from whenever we can get back to “normal” it will take at least two years to catch up with weddings.  Suppliers, venues, registrars can all only do so many weddings per year, so unless you want to compromise, you may still need to wait.

My second prediction is an upturn in the number of mini weddings, even after Covid.  I have seen some wonderful, intimate and very personal weddings in this period, and not one couple has seemed disappointed or unhappy with their day!  Possibly may favourite was a wedding in our smaller ceremony room, afternoon tea for all 15, and then the bride and groom stayed overnight in the hotel and had dinner for two that evening after all their guests had gone, giving them a chance to be alone and to savour their wedding day!

So why not!  I have always reminded people that the most important – the only important part of their day is to get married in front of their closest family and friends.  A smaller ceremony can be more intimate and more personal, it also allows for a different choice of venues, not restricted by their size.  A more personal wedding may also be a less stressful one – with brides and grooms feeling less like they are “on stage”.  A meal, some speeches, lots of personal time with your closest guests.  By scaling down your day, it will allow you to choose to either scale down your budget, or perhaps include some touches that may not fit into the budget for a larger day.

Perhaps the small, intimate day sounds idyllic (and bear in mind that in the future we won’t be restricted by specific numbers), or perhaps you still want the big party, Prosecco and “Dancing Queen”.

Why not have both?

This is an option being taken up by many couples right now, but there is no reason why you can’t do the same thing in the future!  Essentially it is the same idea that we have been doing for years with overseas weddings where the “evening reception” takes place at a later date. After your intimate and low stress wedding day, have the big party – without the pressures that are always present on a wedding day.  I’d always suggest that you still style it as a wedding – wear the dress, cut the cake, maybe even speeches – but this time you can just rock up and party!  Keep the theming the same so that it isn’t just “a party” but it is still an integral part of your wedding day – just on a different date!

Of course, there will still be big weddings – and for many people that will be the day that they want, but now there are more options.

 Maybe something good will come out of 2020 after all!

 

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