We're Going to the Chapel and We're (possibly) Gonna Get Married

As I write this we are 6 months into the Covid-19 “situation” and for weddings things are getting tougher rather than easier.  Whilst some restrictions have been lifted, weddings have become more restricted, with the limit on guests now down to 15 from 30.  If you were planning a wedding during this time, what are your options?

 

Well, in essence you have two options – postpone or have a micro wedding.  Whichever you choose is the right choice for you.

 

Postpone

I can’t begin to understand how hard it must be when you have to “pull the trigger” on postponing your wedding.  Just remember – as I have said before  – it is only the date that is changing.  Your love is unchanged, you are still getting married, just on another date.  Talk to your venue and to your suppliers – and do it quickly!  The reality is that the longer this goes on the more congested dates are going to be – and in my opinion we are looking at two years until we can catch up.  Don’t panic!  You will find a date, and most, if not all, of your suppliers will hopefully be able to be with you on your new date. (If they can’t, they should be returning any deposits that you have paid, minus reasonable expenses for work already carried out - Gov't advice )

 

Micro Weddings

It may be that the right choice for you is to go ahead with your wedding day.  If you do (at time of writing) you will be able to have a wedding with 15 people at it, including any celebration afterwards.  Does this affect your love?  Does it make you any less married?  No, not at all!  So what might you like to do?

With 15 at your wedding you will still be getting married to the one you love in front of your closest friends and family. 

You can still share the event with others – streaming works for meetings and even music concerts, so why not your wedding?  It can be as simple as a single static camera or more complicated if you use a specialist (who doesn’t count as part of your 15).  Maybe consider a videographer (if you weren’t before) and share your wedding that way.

Have you thought about getting married twice?  Recently I was involved in a wedding where the couple had their civil ceremony and then had a “blessing” by a family member attended by a different group. You may need to check any local restrictions, and I can’t vouch for any interpretations of changes to law – but these are just some ideas for “thinking outside the box”.

Consider your “micro wedding” in the same way as an elopement.  Have your wedding day and then – whenever we are able to – have the big party!  Wear the dress, put on a suit, cut the cake and make speeches.  This way you can have a romantic, intimate wedding for 15 – perhaps a nice dinner, live music – and also have the big party without that wedding day stress!

 

Whichever option you choose, postpone or go ahead, do what feels right for you, and if we can be of any help to you – just ask!

Crack the Champagne (not the budget)

 

When people think about weddings and what is involved, alcohol will appear on the list – drinks reception, wine at the table, champagne for the toasts and of course a big boozy party in the evening.  Nobody wants their wedding to “run dry” but it can add quite a cost to the overall wedding day budget.  So, what is the best way and where should we/can we make savings?

Drinks reception

As your guests either arrive at the wedding reception (separate ceremony venue) or move from ceremony to reception area it is nice to have a drink for them – trays of fizz, or perhaps Pimm’s for a summer wedding.  Don’t feel under pressure to keep those drinks flowing – just that first glass should be adequate, and most venues will happily open a cash bar for additional drinks or if guests would like something different.

Table Drinks

For any large dinner or banquet it is usual to have bottles of wine for each table – allow half a bottle per person.  I have experienced weddings where the table wine was eliminated to save money, but in some ways this is a false economy as it can often be included in a package at a preferential rate, plus it is very disrupting for guests to have to queue at a bar to buy their own drinks for themselves/their family.  Most venues will not have a fully staffed bar at the beginning of the dinner as staff are needed elsewhere and the volume needed in a very short time can be quite overwhelming.  Wine on the tables for guests to help themselves with a limited amount of top up is often the best way to supply table drinks (plus water for each table too).  Be wary of having only “a few extra bottles” which go to the fast drinking tables, leaving other tables to have to purchase additional bottles.  Any left-over wine can be placed on the bar for the evening reception

Toasts

Its champagne for toasts – isn’t it?  Not necessarily!  The fizz for toasts is not savoured, so don’t look at expensive champagne!  Prosecco is cheaper and just as acceptable (in fact it can be more palatable) and you can arrange a couple of bottles of “the good stuff” for top table!  Alternatives can be “toast whatever you have in front of you” – or why not try something different? Toast with shots – shot glasses and a bottle on every table – if purchased in bulk this can be inexpensive and again can be used for the evening party too!

Evening Party

Everyone loves a free bar – well, everyone except the person paying the bill!  Whilst it is a lovely idea to be able to provide drinks for your guests “here, let me get you a drink”, my personal experience is that open bars (where all drinks are free) are abused by guests – in that they will simply get another drink if they misplace theirs, or they will have a double “because it is free”.  Drink tokens are a great idea here “have a drink on us”, and/or restricting the free bar to “B/W/S” as we call it in the business – Beers Wines and Softs.  Having worked behind wedding bars very frequently, it is interesting to note how many guests will order a spirit and mixer, but when told that they will have to pay for it, they switch to a beer, or a glass of wine.  This kind of restricted bar still allows you to be the generous host but keeps the costs down.  You’d be surprised at how quickly a £500 bar tab can disappear (and yes, we do keep track of this and have a league table!)

Soft drinks

Don’t forget that some people will be driving, and some don’t drink, so ensure that soft drinks (not just water!) are available – maybe mocktails for the drinks reception?

 

Yes, you want all your guests to enjoy themselves on your wedding day – but as you have already paid for the venue, the meal, evening food and entertainment, don’t feel pressured to personally buy every round!