We're Going to the Chapel and We're (possibly) Gonna Get Married

As I write this we are 6 months into the Covid-19 “situation” and for weddings things are getting tougher rather than easier.  Whilst some restrictions have been lifted, weddings have become more restricted, with the limit on guests now down to 15 from 30.  If you were planning a wedding during this time, what are your options?

 

Well, in essence you have two options – postpone or have a micro wedding.  Whichever you choose is the right choice for you.

 

Postpone

I can’t begin to understand how hard it must be when you have to “pull the trigger” on postponing your wedding.  Just remember – as I have said before  – it is only the date that is changing.  Your love is unchanged, you are still getting married, just on another date.  Talk to your venue and to your suppliers – and do it quickly!  The reality is that the longer this goes on the more congested dates are going to be – and in my opinion we are looking at two years until we can catch up.  Don’t panic!  You will find a date, and most, if not all, of your suppliers will hopefully be able to be with you on your new date. (If they can’t, they should be returning any deposits that you have paid, minus reasonable expenses for work already carried out - Gov't advice )

 

Micro Weddings

It may be that the right choice for you is to go ahead with your wedding day.  If you do (at time of writing) you will be able to have a wedding with 15 people at it, including any celebration afterwards.  Does this affect your love?  Does it make you any less married?  No, not at all!  So what might you like to do?

With 15 at your wedding you will still be getting married to the one you love in front of your closest friends and family. 

You can still share the event with others – streaming works for meetings and even music concerts, so why not your wedding?  It can be as simple as a single static camera or more complicated if you use a specialist (who doesn’t count as part of your 15).  Maybe consider a videographer (if you weren’t before) and share your wedding that way.

Have you thought about getting married twice?  Recently I was involved in a wedding where the couple had their civil ceremony and then had a “blessing” by a family member attended by a different group. You may need to check any local restrictions, and I can’t vouch for any interpretations of changes to law – but these are just some ideas for “thinking outside the box”.

Consider your “micro wedding” in the same way as an elopement.  Have your wedding day and then – whenever we are able to – have the big party!  Wear the dress, put on a suit, cut the cake and make speeches.  This way you can have a romantic, intimate wedding for 15 – perhaps a nice dinner, live music – and also have the big party without that wedding day stress!

 

Whichever option you choose, postpone or go ahead, do what feels right for you, and if we can be of any help to you – just ask!

Crack the Champagne (not the budget)

 

When people think about weddings and what is involved, alcohol will appear on the list – drinks reception, wine at the table, champagne for the toasts and of course a big boozy party in the evening.  Nobody wants their wedding to “run dry” but it can add quite a cost to the overall wedding day budget.  So, what is the best way and where should we/can we make savings?

Drinks reception

As your guests either arrive at the wedding reception (separate ceremony venue) or move from ceremony to reception area it is nice to have a drink for them – trays of fizz, or perhaps Pimm’s for a summer wedding.  Don’t feel under pressure to keep those drinks flowing – just that first glass should be adequate, and most venues will happily open a cash bar for additional drinks or if guests would like something different.

Table Drinks

For any large dinner or banquet it is usual to have bottles of wine for each table – allow half a bottle per person.  I have experienced weddings where the table wine was eliminated to save money, but in some ways this is a false economy as it can often be included in a package at a preferential rate, plus it is very disrupting for guests to have to queue at a bar to buy their own drinks for themselves/their family.  Most venues will not have a fully staffed bar at the beginning of the dinner as staff are needed elsewhere and the volume needed in a very short time can be quite overwhelming.  Wine on the tables for guests to help themselves with a limited amount of top up is often the best way to supply table drinks (plus water for each table too).  Be wary of having only “a few extra bottles” which go to the fast drinking tables, leaving other tables to have to purchase additional bottles.  Any left-over wine can be placed on the bar for the evening reception

Toasts

Its champagne for toasts – isn’t it?  Not necessarily!  The fizz for toasts is not savoured, so don’t look at expensive champagne!  Prosecco is cheaper and just as acceptable (in fact it can be more palatable) and you can arrange a couple of bottles of “the good stuff” for top table!  Alternatives can be “toast whatever you have in front of you” – or why not try something different? Toast with shots – shot glasses and a bottle on every table – if purchased in bulk this can be inexpensive and again can be used for the evening party too!

Evening Party

Everyone loves a free bar – well, everyone except the person paying the bill!  Whilst it is a lovely idea to be able to provide drinks for your guests “here, let me get you a drink”, my personal experience is that open bars (where all drinks are free) are abused by guests – in that they will simply get another drink if they misplace theirs, or they will have a double “because it is free”.  Drink tokens are a great idea here “have a drink on us”, and/or restricting the free bar to “B/W/S” as we call it in the business – Beers Wines and Softs.  Having worked behind wedding bars very frequently, it is interesting to note how many guests will order a spirit and mixer, but when told that they will have to pay for it, they switch to a beer, or a glass of wine.  This kind of restricted bar still allows you to be the generous host but keeps the costs down.  You’d be surprised at how quickly a £500 bar tab can disappear (and yes, we do keep track of this and have a league table!)

Soft drinks

Don’t forget that some people will be driving, and some don’t drink, so ensure that soft drinks (not just water!) are available – maybe mocktails for the drinks reception?

 

Yes, you want all your guests to enjoy themselves on your wedding day – but as you have already paid for the venue, the meal, evening food and entertainment, don’t feel pressured to personally buy every round!

Wedding (Monkey) Anniversary

Did you ever have one of those gags where you aren’t quite sure how it started and you really had no idea how far it would go?

Well, let me tell you the story of Wedding Monkey.  We first met Sureka and John at a wedding fair at Kempton Park while they were planning their big day.  While talking to a couple I will sometimes make offers to “seal the deal”.  Sureka and John were planning their wedding on Monkey Island on the River Thames at Bray, but apparently there are no monkeys on Monkey Island.  The obvious solution here was to promise that if they were to book Silverball Leisure for their wedding day, they would receive a monkey so that for one day at least there would be a monkey on Monkey Island.

The day was wonderful – but hectic!  The load in was over a narrow footbridge, the ceremony was to be outside.  At the time I wasn’t using the flightcases that I use now, so there were boxes and a sweaty DJ, but I had time to set up…until the weather started to look iffy and the ceremony was moved indoors!  Rapid tidying up, ensued, boxes stashed and hidden everywhere while the chairs were set up indoors.  (At the end of the night I had to search for some of the boxes!)  Then the weather looked ok again so we all moved chairs back outside!

The bride looked stunning, the ceremony went without a hitch, and when the happy couple sat down to the reception Wedding Monkey was sat on top table waiting for them, holding a wedding day card.  The monkey was popular and kept changing hands, so the event manager promised to protect him, and he spent part of the evening sat high up on top of a disco speaker for his own safety!

The story doesn’t stop there.  Sureka and John went off on honeymoon to America – and took Wedding monkey too!  In fact, not only did they take pictures, but he had his own album on their facebook page!

The story doesn’t stop there!  After some time passed, Sureka and John were blessed with their first child.  A photo popped up on facebook of baby in cot…along with Wedding Monkey.  When they were expecting daughter number 2 – guess who made the announcement? He was in the newborn’s cot again – now firmly a family mascot.  When the twins were born it was no surprise to see who sneaked into the photos!

Sureka and John celebrated their wedding anniversary with a post on social media celebrating their marriage and family.  There were more photos of wedding monkey in that post than there were of husband John!

Whenever I see a picture of Wedding Monkey, I get a small lump in my throat.  What started as a gag has become something so special – for that couple, for that family and for me.  To see repeated reminders that I played a part in the history of a beautiful family is something that makes my “job” such a pleasure and a privilege, and I hope that wedding monkey demonstrates not only that I treat my “clients” as friends but also I have the imagination to make every single event that little bit different and a little more memorable.

Happy Anniversary Sureka and John – and Happy Birthday Wedding Monkey!

All the Fun of The (Wedding) Fair

Wedding fairs look like they will be reopening soon – with special measures in place of course – which means that potential brides and grooms and get back to the serious business of wedding planning.  For some people they will go to the next in a series of wedding fairs, for others it will be their very first.

How do you make the most of a visit to a wedding fair?

Go to as many as you can/as many as you like

There are dozens of wedding fairs in all areas.  Some are put on by big organisers, some by the venues, some by suppliers.  Some will be huge, some quite small.  Maybe there is a specific supplier you want to see, maybe it’s the venue you want to see, maybe it is just convenient for you. There are no rights and wrongs of which to go to.  At the early stages of wedding planning it can be just a nice day out! It isn’t costing you anything (or rather, it shouldn’t be!)

Talk to everyone. 

Don’t think that it is just about selecting an actual supplier – a wedding fair is just as much about getting ideas.  Unless you talk to the suppliers exhibiting, you may miss out on services or ideas that you didn’t know about, or hadn’t thought of.  Generally, suppliers are wedding professionals and love nothing more than to talk about weddings! Pick up leaflets, make notes – carry a notebook (we call it “The Book Of Power”)

But if you are looking for suppliers

Consider the person behind the services

The wedding fair is your chance to meet the individual who may be helping with your special day.  For some suppliers you need to get on with them on a personal level – photographer, wedding planner, DJ etc.  Gauge their passion, and whether you can be on the same page as each other.  Ask if the person you are meeting will actually be the one at your wedding – find out if you are in fact dealing with a large company or an agency rather than an independent, personal professional

Be Honest

A plea from an exhibitor!  We totally understand that you may be just browsing, recently engaged – but we may talk to you in a slightly different way.  In my case that means I am way more relaxed because it is just a chat, not an attempt at “a sale” – while I love what I do, please remember I am also there to try to get bookings!  If you don’t want any follow up, please say so – it is quite frustrating when people give incorrect email addresses – I honestly don’t mind if you don’t want me to approach you, but please just say so!

Be Prepared

Every exhibitor wants to talk to you! (Ok, some will just sit behind their table and wait for you to come to them.  Make up your own mind about their passion!)  Please be prepared to be asked who the bride is, when your wedding is, where it will be… yes, you will answer the same questions at every stand, but please be ready and willing!

I asked expert wedding fair organisers Diva Wedding Fayres for their one killer tip

Take your time looking around, talk through ideas and enjoy the day!

The more we talk, the more we can find out, discover and learn – and that works both ways!

Save The (New) Date - Lockdown Weddings

For many couples, postponing a wedding date means that their original day will come up – maybe while we are still in lockdown, possibly after we come out of this.  What should you do when the date you have been working towards, planning for and dreaming of comes round with no wedding?

Well, why not celebrate it!  Even if it just the two of you – or especially if it is just the two of you

How about:

Date Night. Sure, you are with each other all the time right now, but take off those pyjamas (we see you) and dress right up, turn off Netflix (we see you) and spend the evening completely together.  It was supposed to be the day that you declared your love in public – so do it in private.  Take an evening out and just be yourselves.

You’re still getting married, just not yet.  How about writing special vows for each other, together.

Video call your wedding party. How about getting your parents, best man and bridesmaids all on one call, all dressed up.  Maybe do lockdown speeches – and get some material for your actual speeches!

Take the time to enjoy being together, maybe do some extra bits and pieces for the wedding day – maybe some bits you thought you wouldn’t be able to do.  Clever table names, craft items.

Above all else, don’t worry, don’t stress.  Sure, you’ve had to put off your date, but you are still marrying the one you love, your best friend, your soul mate.  

As one of our friends said in a facebook post

We have just moved the date until next year, so we have something to continue to look forward to!

Most importantly I will still be marrying the person I love so much and that is what keeps me happy

❤️

See you on your (new) wedding day!